Life Lately | Therapy

I'm not sure how I want to talk about this on here, but I'm going to want to keep notes I'm sure, so I'm going to do my best.  

I've been going to therapy for a few weeks now.  I didn't really have any specific reason to go.  Mostly I've been feeling some underlying depression and wanted to address it.  I wanted to know why I wasn't as happy as I've been in the past.  

Why am I not excited about new opportunities and view them more as ways to add stress?

Why do I push aside my own wants and desires to fit the mold that helps others more than myself?

Why do I feel guilt about my health but not address it and fix it?

I haven't found the answers to these questions in the few sessions I've had, but I'm hopeful I will someday.  And I'm sure I'll develop more questions along the way.  What I have discovered is that I have many more things than I originally thought to work through.  Things that I thought I'd long since forgiven, forgotten and moved past are popping up in my sessions.  

And I'm not gonna lie, it's wigging me out a bit.

Today we discussed my need to people please.  How I swallow my true feelings in order to keep the peace and how I take on other people's problems to solve them.  My therapist noted that there is a link between people pleasers and over eating.  

I find this fascinating.  

I'm going to stop there.  I'm not ready to write out any more discoveries or go more in depth with what I've discussed here, but I will eventually, because it's going to be what I need to move forward.